Can't Make it
by Picturesofme
Summary: Part 2 of Can't Break It:I sat on the edge of my bed getting ready for school. A teardrop hits the floor and I didn't even want it to
1. Default Chapter

I do not own any part of degrassi...I only own this fanfic...this plot...god thats gotta be worth at least 2 degrassi cents right?...yeah...

( read Can't break it first...some people wanted it to be a one-shot so I'll cont. with this)

I sat on the edge of my bed getting ready for school, starting to tie my shoe my eye-sight blurrs the floor. A teardrop hits the floor and I didn't even want it to.

I didn't even want it to...

Sean never came home last night...he couldn't be mad...please don't.

I was still crying as I headed for the door. Right before I opened the door my eye caught the mirror. 'Take a good long look at yourself...hypocrite.' I thought to myself and did as I was told. Tears fell harder and I slammed the door behind me. 

The walk to school seemed longer than usual, so much longer. Maybe it was just to me, maybe I was turning into a fucking nutjob like my mother.

My mother...

When I reached the door to Degrassi I saw Craig. I was too tired to yell for him, too tired to run for him so I waited.

First period was all a blur...I had to much on my mind to concentrate on anything. Maybe thats why Mr. Byrne sent me to the guidence office. God damnit I hate that place.

"Oh, hello Ellie," said the guidence counseler as soon as I walked in. "Hi..." I said kind of shyly. "Come sit down," she said nodding her head toward a chair.

I walked slowly to the chair and dropped my backpack heavily. I was still in a daze.

"So, how have you been lately?" she asked as I stared at the leg of a chair on the otherside of the room. "Ellie..?" she repeated.

"Oh, everythings been fine. I really don't see the reason I'm here..." I said trying to concentrate on her.

"That's not what Mr. Byrne has been telling me. He says you are having trouble paying attention in class..." she said in a curious manner.

I didn't pay attention to the comment and turned my attention to the dusty table.

'You fucking liar! Go ahead tell her you fucking hypocrite. Oh boo hoo mommy's dieing, Sean hurt himself. And you preached to him, preach on you fucking hypocrite..tell her about the relapse! Now! You Bitch NOW! Relapse Relapse Relapse...' My mind got away with me..

"Is it your mother? How is she..." she asked. I thought I was going to scream at her. My face grew hotter and hotter by the moment.

"Oh...she's fine.." I lied.

'LIAR! FUCKING CARPET MUNCHING LIAR TELL HER THE TRUTH...! YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE DON'T LIE! my mind went on again.

Then all of a sudden I walked out the door with my bag with no permission. A smile grew on my face. Then I saw Craig. I suddenly got the energy to walk up to him.

"Sean's at your place right?" I said with no hellos.

He looked shocked and surprised to see me as if he didn't expect to...

"Um...uh...erm...Hey...um...Hey Ellie.." he said in the most annoying way.

I stared at him and gave him the sense that I wanted him to answer me right away.

"Yeah, but, he...he doesn't need any company now...or later..." All this said in a more annoying way, I wanted to slap him.

"I can visit my fucking boyfriend when I want, in fact let's go visit him now..." I said in a very confident way grabbing car keys from my purse and jiggleing them in front of him.

I walked towards the door and he ran to the door and grabbed my shoulders.

"Ellie...um...it's...it's not cool to skip school..." he said trying to laugh nerviously.

"Oh yeah Craig...and it's not fun to stop a girl on the run...to see her boyfriend...whatever get out of my fucking way.." I said first sarcastically then seriously.

His grip on my shouldersgot tighter.

"Ellie..." he said with his big baby-doll eyes.

I then slapped his hands off me and walked out the door.

I then started trying to run which made me neausiated after the first minuet so I stopped. When I got to my car he was already there and out of breath.

"Get off my car door." I said to him. "Ellie why are you even going over there...he's fine...I mean it he's a-ok..." he said breathing heavily. "Oh jesus let us lay off the angst and let me see Sean..."I said grabbing for the car-door and opened it without any trouble from Craig. 

When I started the car Craig ran for his and I floored it. I was sick of all this shit...and all I wanted was some time alone with Sean and this fuckbag was trying to make it diffecult.

When I reached his house Craig's car was nowhere in sight. I got up the stairs and the door was locked. And of course Sean's keychain had an extra key on it. I unlocked the door and got up the stairs.

"Sean?..." I called out.

No answer...

"Sean?...It's Ellie..." I said with no reply. 

I then began opening door after door after door until there was only one left.

I opened it the door...silver scrapping the ground...

"What the hell!" I said loudly... 


	2. My perfect Restart

rtf1ansiansicpg1252deff0deflang1033fonttblf0fswissfcharset0 Arial  
generator Msftedit 5.41.15.1507;viewkind4uc1pardf0fs20 My eyes had to be lying to me. I tried to convince myself. I felt my lips shake. This is a dream...a horrible horrible dream and for the past two days everything has been a lie. I was trying to convince myself but I couldn't. I knew everything I was seeing was real. Too real for me even to handle. lineline Sean was on the bed drunk. Beer cans and bottles laid everywhere on the floor. 'Great you hypocrite cunt. Now even Sean had to drain you out of his brain' my mind was going with me agian. lineline "Sean...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING..!" I yelled in surprise even to myself. lineline Just then Craig ran up the stairs. He grabbed my shoulders as hard as last time. HE looked me striaght in the eyes. lineline "Get away! God...God Elloise...I had to have some time ok..get the fuck out of here your...you bitch!" Sean said with slurred language. lineline My eyes filled with salty drops I didn't want as Craig tried to hug me. I pushed him away. lineline "How'd he get this? How'd he get all these beers Craig!" I asked while Craig stared at me. lineline Everything grew silent. My heart was pounding. I wanted my answer and I wanted it now. lineline "CRAIG!" I asked louder. lineline "Okay listen to me, he was pissed off okay. He was pissed off because of...because of you Ellie. He said he needed time away from you and that he needed to get you out of his mind...and this was the only way." He tried to lay it down gently to me. You could tell because his voice got softer and softer as he went on. lineline I walked off, walked out of the house, and drove. I didn't know where I was driving. I just had to go. Somewhere...anywhere. linepar I finaly reached an abandoned playground that was torn up. Noone was in sight, so I sat there in the car. Tears finaly started to poor again. Harder and harder with each breath I took. Then I looked at the rearview mirror. lineline "You fucking slut! All you do is cause problems...no wonder mom and dad are away you are a cunt! A fucking trouble maker. And no wonder Sean is an alcholic! Look at you...your a hypocrite! A god damn hypocrite that deserves everything your getting!" I said...this time outloud. lineline I rolled up my sleeves. I looked at the freash looking cut. Tears fell and hit my arm. lineline "You are a hypoctrite Ellie...that's all you are..." I said. lineline I opened my backpack and got my kit out. I chose my weapon of distruction. linepar I then hit the skin. I let out all anger and sadness, blood stained the seats, I didn't care anymore though. This was my car, my life...my perfect restart. lineline About two hours later I woke up to my cell phone ringing. I must have cried so much that I fell asleep. lineline The phone said..Sean's cell calling...linelinepar 


End file.
